So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
ok first of all what the fuck
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
