yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
