If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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