so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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