People in love make me want to vomit
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
