just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
