We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
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Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
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