things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
