I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
