Taylor Swift is so right about you.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
