that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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