Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
