sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
