The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
