its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
