Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
