All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
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