yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
