I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
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