Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
