if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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