She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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