i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
