her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Randomize
