i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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