Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
