Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize