How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
So vagazzling was a success
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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