Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Never underestimate the power of titties
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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