Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
