dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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