Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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