I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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