idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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