i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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