HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
