Sry I called you an 8
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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