you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
