Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
