I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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