But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
