It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
