It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
