he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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