i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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