I'm jealous of your bromance
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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