i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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