A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
