you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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