Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
