i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
