Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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