I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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