we have pet lesbian snakes
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
