She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm like, not good at living.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
