one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
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all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
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I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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