You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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