Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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