obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
