do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
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