matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I love having hate sex.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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