Fine. I'll sleep in my office
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
We are all done wearing pants today
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
