my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
